“There is no such thing as a person whose real self you like every particle of. This is why a world of liking is ultimately a lie. But there is such a thing as a person whose real self you love every particle of. And this is why love is such an existential threat to the techno-consumerist order: it exposes the lie. This is not to say that love is only about fighting. Love is about bottomless empathy, born out of the heart’s revelation that another person is every bit as real as you are. And this is why love, as I understand it, is always specific. Trying to love all of humanity may be a worthy endeavor, but, in a funny way, it keeps the focus on the self, on the self’s own moral or spiritual well-being. Whereas, to love a specific person, and to identify with his or her struggles and joys as if they were your own, you have to surrender some of your self. The big risk here, of course, is rejection. We can all handle being disliked now and then, because there’s such an infinitely big pool of potential likers. But to expose your whole self, not just the likable surface, and to have it rejected, can be catastrophically painful. The prospect of pain generally, the pain of loss, of breakup, of death, is what makes it so tempting to avoid love and stay safely in the world of liking.”—Jonathan Franzen’s op-ed in the NYTimes, “Liking Is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts.”
Last Night I had an epiphany involving women and the ability to make up songs on the spot.
I think all women are capable of this, or what I really mean is, that women have this thing where we will, out of the blue, make up a song to whatever already existing tune may be kicking around in our brains. Maybe it’s only the women I know, or maybe men do this too, I don’t know. This is clearly an imperfect hypothesis.
The point is, I had this epiphany while I was waiting for Fresh Direct last night, and when they showed up only a half hour into the two hour window, I started dancing around and singing, “Love when they come early, love when they come early…” to the tune of Jungle Fever. Yeah, let that sink in. I surprised myself with that one too.
“Every couple of years, Hollywood remembers that there’s this weirdly esoteric, fringe-group demographic — I believe the term for it is “women” — who actually enjoy seeing their lives portrayed on screen every bit as much as men do.”—Owen Gleiberman on the “surprise” success of Bridesmaids—and how it establishes Kristen Wiig as a triple-threat every bit as talented as Tina Fey. (via entertainmentweekly)
“It’s my experience that after high school (or, at latest, college), few people bother pretending to like things they don’t actually enjoy in the hope of impressing someone. The dynamic behind that transaction’s always confused me: assuming we’re not all perpetual adolescents (no comment), who’s the nebulous person being impressed by a declaration of love for the plainly unlovable? Why would someone bother lying about how they liked something obviously unlikable?”—
Remember this song? I’m assuming I’m the only person who didn’t know this was about a football player, because I guess I never listened to the verse lyrics (thanks Vadim for pointing out how oblivious I am). Also, I distinctly remember listening to this on WRNX in Northampton, MA, but when the album came out in 2003 I was already living in New York.
So, I guess I’m all kinds of mixed up about this song. I still like it though.